New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I deserve this hangover.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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