We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
