well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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