Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
