i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
