When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
