I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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