It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
