the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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