there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
