I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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