my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
