But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
