when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
