ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
