recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
