If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
