I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize