He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
