I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
