you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
