I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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