Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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