On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize