And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
