We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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