So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
