Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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