umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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