addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
