somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
