I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
