I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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