this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize