Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
