oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize