my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
