mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
