so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
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No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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