Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
