She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
