Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
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