ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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