your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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