the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
