She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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