Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
