Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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