I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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