She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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