how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
