All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize