And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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