i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
PANTIES FOUND
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
