I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
