I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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