I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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