I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
