This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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