i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize